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The Unforbidden
By: Gloven Ramos
I am Meyshakhan Sala, a girl who came from a religious family and found the truth because of an unusual event happened in my life before. It was all started during my college years. I met this guy who is very simple, but have a very interesting story. He is Molly Molligan. My parents sent me to study in one of the prestigious university in our country, since I am alone living there, I have a freedom to wear modern clothes and not the traditional dress of our family. On my third year on college, Molly transfer into our school and we became classmates on one of my classes that time. He is a shy type of guy, he’s not a totally silent, but sometimes, he wants to stay alone. However, despite of these characteristics of him, he is very smart and clever… and I notice him for that. Girls wants good looking guys, but we are usually attracted by the mind rather than looks. I didn’t say that Molly is ugly, of course he’s cute, but I admire his intelligence more. Although I already noticed him, I still didn’t have any serious feelings toward him at first, of course, because our beliefs are very different to each other, he’s a Christian and I am not, my parents are surely want me to marry a guy who has the same culture and belief like ours. But I prove that love really moves in a very mysterious way. Not for being too assuming, but in our every class, I always caught Molly staring at me, He is just three chairs away from me, and I can easily notice whatever he is doing during every classes. I am actually thinking that he has crush on me. By the way, I also have beauty too, I know a lot of men admiring me because of this pretty look I have. Just for being conservative, I’ve planned to avoid Molly, even we’re not even friend, but this plan crippled every time he looks at me, when our eyes collided, I can’t help myself to chuckle. One day, during our class, our professor asks Molly about his plan after he graduates, then he said, “I will save money for the bride price.” All of our classmates laugh on his answer. “Ahhh… so your religion is...” “No sir, I’m a Christian, it is my crush who are.” And the class laugh again. Because of that, its strengthens my suspicions about him had crush on me, and yes, I am thinking that I was that crush he mention. “So you are willing to be converted from Christianity to other religions or beliefs?” “Off course never, I will not sacrifice my faith for love. This girl should be who shift into Christianity for me. I love Jesus more than to any women in the world.” He explains a lot about his view on different religions, but there are things he said before that marks on my mind. He said, “Being a Christian is not a belief like the other religions out there. It is the truth. I don’t care if I may offend people by saying this, but I know the truth and this days, people are easily offended by the truth.” I was amazed on this guy, where did he get all those trust to that man called Jesus? When I’m secretly staring at him on the library, studying alone, I always want to sit beside him, but I’m really too conservative to do that, and in fact, it is just a simple admiration. All things are just simple as this before the day I finally surrender in this insanity. We are having a group activity and we both fall on the same team. While they are busy discussing all things, I am busy staring on Molly’s eyes. They are cute and full of happiness, and it gives me good vibes whenever I see them. Then my friend caught me and said, “Hey May, stop staring on Molly, he will melt.” She’s laughing, but Molly heard that and look on me--smiling. With those looks, it’s not him melting, it is my heart instead. Those smiles on his eyes, gives me an unexplainable sensation and joy in my heart, I finally understand the meaning of the butterflies in stomach. I will never forget those treasures in my life, on that exact moment, when my heart finally gives in and fall into Molly. I can’t stop myself smiling the whole day, even on my bed, he never leaves on my mind. Months passes by, I am still a secret admirer secretly loving my alleged admirer. When I couldn’t take it any longer, I decided to confess this feeling to my closest friend, Jessa. She advices me like she’s an expert, but she didn’t even been in any relationship before. When I share what I feel to Jessa, I feel
that I shouldn’t tell her anything, I am afraid that Jessa might slipped and Molly will discover this secret. I didn’t know what would I do or how would I react when that moment finally happens. Months after I fall to him, I stay hiding from the book shelves in the library, hiding from the crowd on the hall way, keeping this overflowing love for Molly a secret that I might never reveal and buried it on the deepest part of my heart--forever. But as I said, love moves in a very mysterious way, it likes to surprise you on the times that you didn’t expecting. That was Sunday in the afternoon, I go out to buy some school supplies on the nearest mall. I’m just alone, drinking a can of soft drink and eating a cup of rice while walking at the center of the mall with full of people enjoying the last day of weekend. I stepped on an uneven tile and dive my face to the floor, my foods and drink pour out and stained my wet clothes. That was so embarrassing and I am like, “Please floor, suck me whole, this was so awkward, I can’t even stand to face this.” I didn’t know but no one from the crowds stand to help me that time, until, a guy offers his hands for me… “Are you okay?” he asks me. I was shock when I see who this guy is… it’s Molly. He helps me stand and I finally touch and hold his hand. It was all perfect, the time running slowly, the mall plays a love song perfect for that moment, “Loved” by Lucy Hale. He grabs all my things on the floor. “Your clothes are wet, you should change on the restroom.” He said, and I, looking at him, was like, “uh…uh…” I didn’t feel embarrassed anymore because of Molly, instead, I feel so proud that this handsome guy helps me on this worst circumstances. The time and moment still running slowly, he touches my cheeks and the song’s chorus started, my moment still not over. While his hands on my face and I am looking onto his eyes, I said to myself, “This is the guy I want to marry, I want this guy to be with me for the rest of my life.” He starts asking, “Why you are eating rice while walking?” while picking the pieces of rice on my face. Of course, I still couldn’t speak. “Do you have extra shirt? You better change your clothes.” “I don’t have here. Do you?” “I have an extra shirt here, but I think I should not let you to wear this. Its smells sweat.” He looks like very cute when he said that, but then I remember my pride shall not be tear down, I need to pretend normal in that moment. “It’s okay, let me borrow it, please…” “Okay, but let us get out here, it feels awkward that they all are looking.” I ask him to wait me outside the restroom. Inside, while changing my clothes, I smell his shirt, it smells the red fabric conditioner my mother always uses to her clothes. In that room, I smell Molly’s shirt a hundred times before I put it on. “Why took you so long inside?” he asks me. “Really? I think I stay there for just a minute.” Still pretending normal. “Come on.” “Where are we going? “You save me today; you deserve a treat.” We eat dinner together, and I think I should never waste this moment to build friendship with Molly. I should start a topic, but he asks me first. “By the way, Sala, what are you doing here?” It feels weird when I heard him calling me on my surename instead of my first name. “Molly, please, stop calling me at my surename.” “So what should I call you then?” “Wait, you don’t know my name, don’t you?” “Yeah, Mayshake-han.” “It’s Meyshakhan. Meys-hey-khan.” “Mexican?” “Nahh.. never mind, forget about it.” “It’s really hard to pronounce…you know.” “You’re right, I admit it, just call me May, then.” From that day, our friendship finally started, and it became more and more better as the days passes by. I get a chance to know Molly better; about his life, his family, and also his heart, which makes me to love him more and more. Thou I didn’t understand their beliefs as a Christian, I admire his faith. There is a time that I saw Molly going on the park inside the campus. I call him and ask him where is he
“Sorry, but how it could so important for you if you have peeling for…” he didn’t finish what he said when he realized what I really mean. “Did you mean feeling? Do you have feeling for me?” “Yeah, ever since the first time we became classmates.” “Really?” we became speechless for a couple of moments. “Actually…” I breaking the silence. “I don’t want to lose you, and after graduation, there are big chances that we might never see each other anymore. I’m telling you this because, before we leave this university, I can confess to you what I really feel.” Molly didn’t talk again, thinking a good word to response. “Actually, when I was young, there’s one girl, an imaginary friend, who I always want to meet in real life.” He started to tell some story. “That girl became my standard for women. I’ve been searching for her through the years, until one night, for the very first time, I dreamt about her. I see her on my dreams on the other group of people. Few days after, I met you. I had crush on you since the very first day I see you in our classroom. I really like your eyes and I love staring on them, that eyes of your give me enjoyment in my heart and relaxes my spirit everytime I look on them. I really like you, but you came from a different belief which is a probable greatest hindrance if I will let myself fall into you. Do you remember when I said before that I want to save money for the bride price for my crush, it was you. I tried to stay away from you but I remember my dream about my dream girl, and I suspect that it was you. Of course, it is difficult to decide on my own so I ask God a good sign to prove if it was really you and if you are the girl he want for me. So until there’s no signs, I will keep and avoid myself to develop deeper feelings for you, but I never prevented it and finally fall for you, especially when I get to know all about you.” It feels heaven hearing Molly speaking those words to me. “Do you receive the sign? Then what it is.” I asked. “Yes. You know what? I already know that you love me.” “Really, how did you know then?” “Simple, you’re too obvious, but, knowing that you also have the same feeling for me, it always tempted me to confess my feelings, but I should see the sign first.” “So what is that sign?” “That you are the one that will confess your feeling first.” “You’re indeed a clever man.” “But it is God who gave that sign, not me.” “Then if I will never do the sign? What would you do.” “I will forget you, because it means that we are not for each other, even I really love you a lot.” “So now?” “So now, what?” “Are we.. like… girlfriend and boyfriend?” “No.” “Huh?” “You know, we know each other, but it is still not enough. You don’t even know my family. We should take it slowly. Let’s just be friend-getting-to-know-each-other first.” “You don’t want me. Is that because I am not a Christian?” “No” he holds my hands, “It is because I love you so much, that I can’t even imagine you leaving me because you realized you don’t actually love me anymore. Know all my worst first before you decide to love me. Don’t worry, since we know that it is God’s will, nothing can stop our destiny.”
After graduation, I stay on our hometown and find a job there. I was employed as a supervisor in a distributing company. Molly and I met every month every time I need to process some papers there. I also secretly continue my Christian faith; I need to keep it hidden because I didn’t know what would my parents will do to me if ever they found out about this. The duty of processing papers in the city was transferred to another employee, because of that, I don’t have any chances to see Molly. Five months without seeing him is like a punishment to me. I really miss him so bad that I want to fly wherever he is. Every time we call each other, I always crying, his voice makes me miss him even more. One rainy
morning of Sunday, it was my day off, my little sister woke me up, she said that there is someone who wants to see me outside. I feel so stress that morning for waking me during the perfect moment to stay in bed. I go outside my room not even brushing my hair, there I found Molly, sitting in front of my mother and father. I was so happy that I run to him and hug him very tight without even thinking my conservative parents are watching us. “Hey, May, your mouth stinks.” He said. “I don’t care, I really miss you!” “May, my child, can you please dress up yourself, we have serious things to discuss here.” Mom said. “I didn’t know you have a boyfriend?” mother asks me after I take bath. “How long?” “How long what?” Molly asking clarification. “How long you’ve been together?” “Ten months, already.” “Ten months? Why you didn’t tell us about that, May?” mother asks. “I know she have.” my little sister said. “Ten years? Do you even give your purity to this guy?” father asks. “No, and it’s ten months, not years.” I said. “If she wants, it is hard to refuse.” Said Molly, “but don’t worry sir, I respect your daughter, we’re still both virgins.” “So, Molly,” father ask Molly, “What tribe you belong to?” “Sorry sir, I don’t have tribe, I am Christian.” “You are a Christian?” “May, why you have a relationship to a Christian?” “Why not?” Molly’s answer. “It is a good thing to be Christian.” “I know, I don’t mean any offence about your religion, but as long as we can, we want our children to marry on the people similar to us. And speaking of that, what are your purpose why you come here?” “I came here because I want to personally ask you about marrying your daughter.” “What? You are still young; you know I wouldn’t let that.” “No sir, I mean, it is not now, it maybe 5 years from now, but since I love your daughter, I want your approval about our relationship.” “If that just it, I don’t have any objection about this, just treat my daughter well and I will let you to marry her.” “It is not just about that, few years from now, I will marry your daughter, but I want to marry her on a Christian wedding, that is what I really want to say to you.” “You what? Do you know how impossible you are asking? You are asking to marry my daughter so you should marry her in our tradition.” “It is not impossible; it is you who forbidding your daughter. With all due respect, sir, believe me, I also tried to stop this love before, but it is not easy. You are a guy, too. I am sure you know about this thing.” “Okay, then what if I will not allow what you want?” “Then I will not marry her.” “Really, I thought you love my daughter so much?” “Yes, I do, but I love Jesus more than to anyone else. I respect your belief, sir, but if I will not forsake my faith for love.”
